Now I'm properly in this process

At last, I have had the first interview plus had a load of blood samples taken.  It seemed to me that things were going a bit slowly so it was good to spend a couple of hours at my local hospital's transplant centre and get things started properly.  It's also quite a funny feeling going for a hospital appointment when you are not actually unwell at all; then you get treated very well, as though you are valuable and an important person - is this now a mark of the NHS for all patients or are donors given special treatment?  It was when I saw a stamp on my documents saying "Potential Live Donor" that I realised that perhaps a live donor is indeed valuable not just to the recipient but to the NHS, due to the fact that the donation will save the NHS thousands in the coming years. 

I had thought that the slow start was due to me living some way from London, and thus unable to easily attend the same hospital, but it seems that the recipient, my younger brother, has also only just started the actual transplant process.  The good news he has is that his kidney function (eGFR) has actually gone up from 17 to 19, so things are looking a little less critical for now.  He spent most of  last year stable in the mid 20s.  I understand that at 15 they want to be actually organising the transplant so it can get done before the need for dialysis which starts when it gets down to 10.  If the recipient avoids dialysis then apparently it reduces the possibility of rejection and improves the chances of everything staying healthy for longer, just as having a transplant from a living donor (LD) is more beneficial than a cadaveric donation (i.e. a dead person).

So, now the recipient and both potential donors have all had the blood samples taken for tissue typing and cross-matching.  This will get done in the next two weeks and then a decision needs to be made about the donor as they want to go ahead with just one at a time.  If just one of us is suitable then there's no real decision as we are both already willing and committed.  If we are both suitable, I think that it's down to us to decide who should be Number 1, and I have no idea how we will make that decision apart from prayer.  I think I've been told that it's unlikely for both donor brothers to not be suitable at this stage, but if that was the case then Tim is back to square one looking for other potential donors (of which there is already at least one of the right blood group, although not a blood relative). 

One question which was asked yesterday was how I felt about the idea.  This is very hard to put into words, but I have no worries and no concerns.  Why would I not offer?  Personally, it seems to me that if I can, I will; no question. I imagine that Nick, the other potential LD, has the same feelings as myself about it, which basically is that "of course I'll do it for my brother - I would hope he'd do it for me" etc.  By law payment is not allowed and of course one wouldn't charge a brother anyway, but I don't even think that any thanks would be needed to be said as I will know how he feels afterwards.   I know that I already feel very emotional about what this would mean for Tim - in fact, calling him to offer a kidney was a curiously hard phone call to make - I could hardly get the words out because of the emotional feeling.  To me it is almost a foregone conclusion - it's down to me and I have no hesitation in volunteering.  I do feel quite disinterested and detached from the issues which people mention; I think that having effectively made the decision already means that I just want to keep going down this road one step at a time, as far as I can, and I would not be happy in myself if I chickened out for any selfish reason.  Why would I not want my brother to be healthy?